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The good news: Your son or daughter has graduated from college. The potentially bad news: Due to job losses, the pressure of student loan debt or some other factors, he/she has to return home, living with you.
A recent survey has found that almost one-in-five grown children (aged 18-34) now live with their parents. And of those children, about one-third say they used to live independently elsewhere before returning home. The phenomenon has become known as “The Boomerang Generation”(回巢族).
Don’t worry. From a positive angle, you may find you can actually do a lot to keep harmony in the household and make this tricky time manageable, even beneficial for all involved. When your child comes back, he/she can be a source of social support. He/She can help out economically. And you really get a chance to establish a different relationship—as adults.
It’s important to know how long this kind of situation will last. This can be discussed with your family members, but it’s essential that everyone understands the arrangement. It’s also important to set a goal for your graduated child to help him/her find a suitable job.
Everyone should keep the household rules. College kids are used to doing what they want. So let your child know your expectations for household chores, overnight guests, noise and so on. You can list something that you can never accept.
It is absolutely OK for parents to charge rent(房租). If a grown child is able to pay rent, he/she should be asked to pay some. This can also include electricity, water or other benefits he/she is enjoying. If you feel it uncomfortable to take money from your child, you can collect rent money and return it to him/ her when he/she leaves, to help him/her in his/her new home.
Avoid falling into traditional parent-child roles. This is difficult, but parents should not do traditional things such as lending your grown child money or doing his/her laundry or cleaning any more. Your child has grown up; he/she is no longer a teenager.
At last, parents should not get overly involved in your child’s lives and personal relationships. Parents need to respect your child’s growing independence. Creating a dictatorship (独裁) doesn’t help him/ her grow as a self-reliant individual.
A problem |
Your child moves back home after graduation, to live on his/her own. |
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why your child comes back home |
·Job losses ·The pressure of student loan debt ·Other factors |
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Present situation |
·Almost percent grown children now live with their parents. ·The phenomenon has become known as “The Boomerang Generation”. |
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to parents |
Establish a deadline |
·Let everyone understand the arrangement. ·Set a job-hunting for your child. |
Clarify house rules |
·Set for household chores, overnight guests, noise and so on. ·List something your child should never do. |
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rent |
·Ask your child to pay rent. ·You can collect rent money and it toyour child when he/she leaves. |
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Avoid falling into old roles |
·Don’t lend money to your child. ·Don’t do for him/her. |
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Respect your child’s and independence. |